I Found Rest in His Love
Weary and overwhelmed. These were the feelings that echoed from within as the demands of life started to weigh on me.
Since becoming a mom, my hands have certainly become more full. But the month of August felt heavier than usual, requiring more of me mentally, physically, and emotionally. It also introduced some changes for me and my family.
At the beginning of the month, my son, Micah, started daycare. This was the first big change for me and my family, and there was a lot of preparation leading up to Micah’s first day. The very same week, I returned to the office after being home with Micah for the first seven months of his life. I knew these changes would stir up some emotions for me, but no one could have prepared me for the wave of emotions I experienced the days and weeks to follow.
Soon after starting daycare, Micah began getting sick more frequently. My husband, Chris, and I also got sick the first time Micah did, and caring for someone else while sick is no joke 😅 To top things off, none of us were sleeping well the nights Micah was sick because he had a hard time sleeping while congested. In addition to all of this, the month ended with Chris having surgery.
With the weight of everything crashing down at once, it wasn’t long before I started to feel out of balance. About a week before Chris’ surgery, I remember telling him over dinner that I was growing weary from everything I’d been juggling and pouring out. Not to mention all the emotions I was still experiencing because Micah and I were now apart most of the day. Chris listened intently, then offered to take on more responsibilities post his recovery to help lighten my load. We then spent the remainder of the conversation discussing ways I could refill my cup and incorporate more rest into my lifestyle.
Just a few days later on August 31, one of the pastors at my church shared a message called “Rethinking Rest.” One of the key verses he taught from was Mark 6:31. In this verse, Jesus told his disciples:
“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
My greatest takeaway from this verse and the message is that true rest is found in Jesus. My pastor phrased it this way (as the formula for rest): “Solitude [with Jesus] + Silence = Rest.” This message was so timely and the gentle reminder I needed. Throughout my postpartum recovery journey, I did things to rest periodically and care for myself. However, after becoming a mom, the time I spent with Jesus became more sporadic given my new responsibilities as a parent. And the time I spent with Him came mostly in the form of whispered prayers while showering, breastfeeding/pumping, washing bottles, or rocking Micah to sleep.
As a result of this message and the conversation I’d recently had with Chris, I took immediate action. On September 1 – which happened to be Labor Day and a paid holiday for me – I dedicated that morning to spending time with Jesus and activities that brought me peace and joy. I started the morning with a 75-minute deep stretch class and coffee with a dear friend. Afterwards, I pulled out my Bible and journal, and God began speaking to me through His word. Before transitioning from that moment, I set intentions for the month of September centered around creating more balance in my life and devoting more time to read God’s word.
The first passage that I read that week was Luke 10:38-42 (At the Home of Mary and Martha). I’d heard this story many times before, but God instructed me to study this passage, meditate on it, and begin applying it to my life. It reads:
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
The first thing that stood out to me in this passage is that Martha was a great host, detail-oriented, and productive – all of which are great qualities, but they were a distraction in this setting. Mary, on the other hand, positioned herself to sit with and listen to Jesus. While the things Martha prioritized in that moment were in service to Jesus, they became a distraction to what was most important: intimacy with Jesus. Jesus’ response to Martha revealed to me that He desires to be in relationship with me more than He wants something from me. The other aha moment for me was that good things can even be distractions.
I can relate to Martha, because I possess similar qualities as her. And in this new season of my life, I find myself constantly cleaning, organizing, planning, running errands, and many other things for my family. Again, none of these things are bad, and I find joy in serving my family. However, these responsibilities started to pull me away from the Lord.
I believe God wanted me to start with this passage to affirm me as His beloved child. This passage reminded me that I am His daughter before I am Chris’ wife, Micah’s mom, a career woman, and every other role that I’ve been assigned. And when I align my priorities accordingly and allow God to meet every need that I have, I show up as a better person for myself, my husband, my son, and others – instead of running on empty or feeling like my worth is attached to what I do.
Another takeaway I had after reading this passage is that God doesn’t want me to neglect the responsibilities He’s entrusted to me. He also doesn’t condemn me for the time I spent apart from Him, because He is loving and gracious. He simply wants me to reprioritize things in my life so that my relationship with Him comes first. And let’s be real, I can’t effectively fulfill my calling as a wife, mom, and everything else I’ve been created to do without being connected to Him (John 15:5) – which is the very reason I was starting to grow weary.
Since revisiting this passage in early September, I’ve been getting back into the rhythm of sitting with Jesus like Mary – abiding in His presence and seeking Him through prayer and His word. These moments of solitude with Jesus have been so sweet and pivotal for me. They’ve been teaching me to be still and rest in His love instead of being busy all of the time. I’ve also witnessed other fruit in my life as a result of abiding in Jesus and establishing new rhythms of rest:
My excitement for the word of God has intensified
The Holy Spirit has been giving me a fresh revelation and understanding of scripture
I’ve been discerning the voice of God more clearly
The word of God has been correcting and refining me
The Lord has been healing and softening the parts of my heart where disappointment, frustration, and bitterness grew as a result of an offense
God has given me a strategy to live and work from a place of rest and to better manage my time and responsibilities
I’ve experienced more peace, balance, and joy in every area of my life
My compassion and capacity for others has increased
I’m so grateful for this new season that God has me in, and I’m excited to continue growing closer to Him and integrating rest into my daily life!
If anything that I shared resonates with you or you find yourself running on empty, I invite you to reflect on the questions below:
Am I trying to do everything in my own strength and not relying on God or the community He’s blessed me with?
Is there anything that I’m responsible for that I can delegate or outsource to free up more time for God, family, and rest?
Am I busy doing good things but not the things God has called me to do? What do I need to release or say no to in this season so that I can be obedient to God?
Is the way I’m spending my time aligned with what’s important to me?
What are some ideas I need to unlearn about rest? (i.e., Rest is unproductive, I don’t deserve rest, etc.)
Have I attached my identity and worth to what I do?
What’s one thing I can do for myself this week?
What rhythms can I create to maintain balance in my life?
And if you want to take things a step further, I encourage you to share your reflections with a loved one, friend, accountability partner, or even me ❤️
I pray this post empowers you to cultivate a life filled with balance and alignment!
Until next time,
Imanne